Along with all those pick-and-choose American Catholics our pagan media is shocked … shocked that the cardinals have picked a new pope who is a real, honest to goodness Catholic!

According to the current wisdom, the head of the Roman Catholic Church must confirm to the customs and mores of the times – even if the times happen to be filled with such corruption as to make the decadence of ancient Rome appear virtuous by comparison.

That the 115 cardinals voting in the conclave failed to conform to the current wisdom and pick some wimpish equivocator who would bend with the winds that blow hither and yon and compromise with what the Church has taught for 2000 years as evil proved to be incomprehensible to today’s children of darkness who consider themselves to be an enlightened elite.

How, they ask, could a brilliant cleric and author of scholarly books such as Pope Benedict XVI not understand that opposition to such icons of modern thought and practice as abortion and homosexuality and militant feminism and unrestrained sexuality is an outmoded code of conduct. Get with the times, he is advised.

That he will not, because he cannot and remain faithful to his creed and his office, offends that small but vocal cadre of dissidents who call themselves Catholics yet reject the basic doctrines of the Roman Catholic Church.

They remind me of those who we call RINOs – Republicans in name only, sometime-adherents of that brand of “Marxism lite,” now the official creed of the Democrats.

They are the CINOs – Catholics in name only – adherents of the new religion of anything goes as long as it is acceptable to the majority. They are weeping and wailing and gnashing their teeth over the selection of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, unhappy with the reality of his papacy and writhing in frustration over their inability to force their church to make changes it cannot make and remain the Roman Catholic Church.

They needn’t suffer. The answer is there and their church should help them see it and act on it. Every Catholic church in the U.S. should have maps of their area printed up showing the location of the nearest Episcopalian church with instructions on how to get there. It’s where they can find homosexual bishops, lesbian priests, sanction for abortion, the unfettered right to divorces and all those other practices the Catholic Church forbids under pain of mortal sin. It is the church that can’t say no. They’ll be very comfortable there.

Actually, they have plenty of other options if they insist on affiliating with a church. There are 16,000 Protestant sects in the United States. They offer a huge variety of dos and don’ts (mostly dos). You can pick and choose.

The Catholic Church has been consistent for 2000 years. They have been consistent for human life, and all the other doctrines handed down from the apostles. Pope Benedict XVI is going to carry on that tradition and in world of turmoil it is good to have a church such as the Catholic Church that is steadfast. Do they have problems? Yes, they’ve always had problems, but the church as a whole is the rock on which all Christianity is built.

©2005 Mike Reagan. You must contact us if you would like to print this column in your publication or post on the internet. Mike’s column is distributed exclusively by: Cagle Cartoons, Inc. Cari Dawson Bartley Cari@cagle.com, (800) 696-7561